Axiom #1: Systems for Families in Business

A family in business has fallen into a cycle where one of the daughters who works in the family business has been repeatedly hospitalized for depression. There have been 6 hospitalizations in the last 4 years.

Her parents who are completely absorbed by their business have a rocky relationship and are on the edge of divorce. Their relationship problems are “a secret” that all the employees know about. The daughter with the depression works very hard to help keep morale up in the business but employees have started checking with her to see if their jobs are secure. She minimizes the problems with the employees and keeps this personnel information from her parents because she knows they are emotionally exhausted. She too is worried about both her family and the family business. She recently told her therapist that she feels she is getting close to “shutting down” again.

But every time their daughter is hospitalized her parents overcome their marital problems to support their daughter. For a while they are emotionally connected as parents if not as spouses. In their concern for their daughter, they appear to be a strong couple. While the daughter’s depression may be physiological in origin it has now taken on a secondary value in that “shutting down” and being hospitalized temporarily brings her parents together. And they take care of her instead of she them.

During these cycles the father has hired a management consultant to improve employee productivity. There has been significant slippage in the past 18 months. The consultant has picked up on the drama behind the scenes and is trying to decide if his relationship with his client is strong enough for him to talk about what is really going on.

There is a Sufi saying: “When a pick pocket meets a holy man all he sees is his pockets.”

This adage tells us that the way one thinks about things influences what one can see and comprehend. So, it is with linear and systemic thinking. A systemic adviser pays attention to the data and general information but uses it to access things behind the numbers that are not apparent to the linear adviser. An adviser with linear perspective would see the hanging mobile as a collection of data points but not see the connections. In the family described above they probably would not connect the dots.

A systemic frame of reference would emphasize the dynamics of how the family sustains their complicated balance while in motion. Factors that look dysfunctional on the surface may turn out to be in service to something behind the scenes. It is important for the advisor to understand the role that apparently dysfunctional factors play in preserving the homeostasis of the larger family and business systems. In the case of the depressed daughter the consultant engaged a colleague with a family therapy background to “shadow consult” with him as he begins to help his client address what is really going on behind the scenes in his family and business.