Identifying Love in our Family Business

It is our experience that “love” improves every situation where it is allowed to be.” Recently, we have witnessed anger, mistrust, and vitriol in our communities and in the media. These come with real personal and business risks. The extent to which this affects us varies depending on our personal, family, and business situations.

To help us rise above that, we are providing this “Identifying Love” material to bring attention to the existence of love and to locate how and where love works in our family and business. Once identified, we can take action to increase the positive effects of love.

Doing this work, you will gain a new vocabulary that expands your understanding of love. The Love Math Formula is a simple tool for visualizing the parts and pieces of your family business: the individual people, the love and the types of love among them, and the shared goal of creating sustenance together.

Throughout, I reference the article These Are the 7 Types of Love by Neel Burton (Psychology Today)¹. These seven types of love won’t feel new to us; what may feel new is thinking of these as different types of the same thing: love.

The Love Math Formula for Family Business

• a. 1 + 1 = ?
• b. 1 + 1 + ♥ = Family
• c. 1 + 1 + ♥ + $ = Family Business

This formula is here with a smile: not really math, but it describes important things about family businesses.

a. (1 + 1 = ?)

At this point, we don’t know what the “1” and the “1” are. They could be anything, and likewise, the simple math isn’t always simple. For example, one fire + one fire = one bigger fire, and not necessarily two fires. If, however, this represents one person + one person, that could add up to two people. But we don’t yet know anything about these two people, about their potential, or whether they’re collaborative or mutually destructive. Nothing about them is defined.

b. (1 + 1 + ♥ = Family)

In this formula, we add love ♥, and here we label the sum as “family.” We know that family is powerful, that from “1 + 1” we can end up with a thousand generations that carry forward civilizational concepts such as “democracy,” or “1 + 1” can end up with zero if they get wiped out in a turf struggle before accomplishing anything.

Adding “love ♥” is adding a wild card. Love brings incredible energy. Love is the life force. Love tends to go with trust and respect. Love supports our working together to meet shared challenges on the way to shared goals.

It is true that family structures differ. Does this family follow ancient rules about marriage, child-rearing, and inheritance? Or does it follow any rules at all? Throughout human history, there has been love ♥, and there have been rules around love. These rules are about creating structures, also known as families, that form the basis of civilization. These rules flow into the structure of our family businesses.

c. (1 + 1 + ♥ + $ = Family Business)

Here, in formula “c,” we add money $ to the mix. Money $ is actual money, but it is also generally a source of sustenance. Formula “c” is about the individuals in the family working together for mutual benefit. In formula “c,” love ♥ has added energy among the individuals, and money $ has added a means to achieve a goal. That goal is most generally stated as sustenance. This is about putting food on the table and ensuring the next generation.

Now, let’s do some more imagining with the formulas above. Imagine formula “c,” but take out the love ♥. Love has brought mutuality and collaboration into the mix. Without it, your family business will have to find some other motivation for trusting each other, for building a shared vision, and for staying with a shared mission. Think about what has, in your life experience, most successfully bound people together.

From here, let’s now look at the “7 Types of Love.”

It’s hard to find anything that positively binds people together that doesn’t also appear on this list as a type of love.

Summary of the article “These Are the 7 Types of Love”

The article begins by noting that romantic love, as depicted in 19th-century literature, is a relatively modern concept. Many other valuable forms of love are often overlooked. Drawing on Greek philosophy (Plato and Aristotle) and J.A. Lee’s Colors of Love (1973), Burton outlines seven distinct types:

1. Philautia

• Self-love, which can be healthy (self-esteem, self-confidence) or unhealthy (hubris, arrogance).
• Healthy philautia fosters resilience, openness, and authentic investment in oneself and others. principles enable our agencies to coexist and operate together.

2. Eros

• Intense, passionate love rooted in physical and romantic attraction.
• Mythically unleashed by Cupid’s arrow (e.g., Paris and Helen) and, in philosophy, seen as a blind life force or will to live.

3. Philia

• Friendship-based love grounded in mutual goodwill.
• Aristotle emphasized three foundations: usefulness, pleasure, and virtue, while Plato saw it as evolving from eros into shared philosophical growth.

4. Storge

• Familial love, especially parent–child affection, built on familiarity and dependency.
• Less conditional than philia and often develops over time in longer romantic relationships.

5. Agape

• Selfless, universal love arising from compassion or spirituality, akin to Christian charity or altruism.
• Offers emotional well-being (“helper’s high”) and strengthens community bonds.

6. Ludus

• Playful, flirtatious love, including teasing, flirting, and lighthearted fun.
• Casual and undemanding; best suited to mutually understanding, mature individuals.

7. Pragma

Practical love based on reason, compatibility, shared goals, and duty.
Often seen in arranged marriages or partnerships that transition from passion to pragmatic commitment.

Romantic love (eros) might grow into something more enduring like philia, storge, or pragma. In Platonic thought, true love transcends mere objects of affection and becomes a pursuit of beauty, goodness, and wisdom.

Gratitude

This article has benefited greatly from Shelley Taylor’s skillful editing. There is so much Shelley does in her role as Executive Director of Aspen Family Business Group. She has taken on herself a long list of duties that include editing our new materials. Shelley, we’re each and all better for you being on the job. Thank you!

1. ¹ Neel Burton, “These Are the 7 Types of Love,” Psychology Today, June 2016, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201606/these-are-the-7-types-of-love ↩︎