The thickness of blood in family business (3 of 3)

In the New Testament, the miracle of blood to wine is told in several Gospels. From Matthew 26: “This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. I tell you, I will not drink from this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father’s kingdom.”

And, here, we give attributions to the fluids in this story and apply them to family business. Holding up the chalice of wine, Jesus says “This is my blood”. This Last Supper is the annual Passover meal, the Seder. At this meal, each year we recite God’s promise of redemption. The chalice is lifted five times and sipped from four times, only four because redemption is still in our future, and we’ll have that last sip then. As we say, Elijah’s cup is waiting on the table. He’ll come tell us when to pick it up.

At the seder meal, it is incumbent upon the participants to invite and share fully with strangers, with non-family. At The Last Supper, there was only non-family. But something happened among this group. They shared ideas that made them into a family.

Scripture explicitly speaks to that transformation. When told his mother and brothers were waiting for him, Jesus responded in Matthew 48-50: “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”

His mother was still his mother, but as this group shared ideas and wine it made them new family members, real family members. Wine becomes blood. Through sharing ideas and the blessing of wine, we create family.

This is not magical, but it can feel magical. I hope that, like me, you have at least a time or two shared a meal where you got up from the table holding a new relationship with your co-diners, deeper and more joyous than when you sat down with them.

In our Aspen group, we are conscious of how important it is to share a meal with each other. We are a small group, and we live very far from each other; USA, Turkey, & Israel. We travel great distances to meet up. And, as much time and energy as we give to sharing ideas, we also cook and eat together. And may he rest in peace, our partner Bill Roberts brought nice wine.

Things can turn into other things. People can become family. And, when those miracles happen, the good that flows feel boundless.

This we offer as a potential also in our advice to family businesses. Sure, blood is thicker than water. But, as we’ve touched upon in this essay, miracles do happen. Water becomes blood. Water becomes wine. Wine becomes blood.

When we say miracles happen, we are saying something of this world, something real and often even measurable.

When we say miracles happen, we are saying something of this world, something real and often even measurable. When we foster these miracles through respectful management, the results are profitable materially and spiritually.

What this essay is and is not

This essay is neither to debase the message of the Great Faiths by equating God’s will with a family business’ mission. Neither is this essay to elevate our family business’ mission to a divine universal.

This essay’s goal is to open us up in the daily practice of our family business to the possibility that beyond our blood relations there are worthy people who we do well to bring into our family business. Managing those relationships respectfully yields great dividends.

The old saw, blood is thicker than water, has value. But, if we let ourselves be locked into it, we face the potential of allowing an old orthodoxy to make us reject a new potential. And we’ve been shown better than that going back thousands of years.

In conclusion

This blog is part of a larger project. In family business consulting, a key to solving issues is the process of re-contextualizing presenting issues in a family business to give both the consultant and client a set of tools for tackling these issues. Put simply, the old views have not worked so we must see the issue differently to tackle it.

Likewise, family business happens in a cultural context. The same increasing polarity in our culture is reflected within our family business. Fortunately, the tools for decreasing polarity, i.e. increasing common ground, that work in a cultural context also work in a family business context. Why? Because no matter the scale or setting, we’re building bridges among people.

Broadly, these are the key current polarizing cultural issues. (1) Wealth gaps as measured by the Gini index are increasing. (2) The number of people living under democratic rule vs non-democratic rule is declining as measured by The Economist Freedom index. We are currently in a dramatic phase of this issue. And (3) identity politics. (see Besley, Pearson, 2021 for relevant consideration of IP). Moves in these indices trend with social division and political instability.

Of these three gap wideners, the Gini index, The Economist Freedom index and identity politics the third, identity politics, has a particular face in family business. This is, whether a person is family or non-family. Consultants hear the old saw, “Blood is thicker than water.” While arguably valid, this attitude leads to inefficient use of resources in the family business. I believe that every old saw deserves being both well respected and well inspected. In this blog, we introduced a method for that inspection; scripture from the Old (OT) and New (NT) Testaments.

Story is a powerful organizer. A re-storying process activates change. The client shares their story (presenting issue/s). The consultant then uses an ancient illustrative story that parallels their story. Using ancient stories depressurizes (depersonalizes) the work setting, allowing for a considered change process.

Family businesses are each composed of, as if, an anthology of stories. When change is called for, a re-storying process, demonstrated in our upcoming work, activates needed change. The process builds upon a diagnostic phase already common in most consultants’ work. In that phase, the client shares their story (presenting issue/s). The consultant then uses an illustrative story that parallels their story in key ways. Here the stories come from the Old (OT) or New (NT) Testament. These stories contain perspectives that have endured across the sweep of history that includes economies typified as agricultural, industrial, and informational. These stories still have much to say now.

These are religious texts that have sacred or ritual meaning. In this process, their power comes substantially from their literary quality, their durability over centuries, their broad recognition, and crucially, their alignment to the key issues in family business.

Like myths and fables of all kinds, these stories provide a way to understand the presenting issue; to contextualize it beyond the emotion of a particular family business; to see examples of what can be done and with what results. Again, this depressurizes the work setting and allows for a considered change process.